Human Nature
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ENVY
We humans are naturally compelled to compare ourselves with one another. We are continually measuring people’s status, the levels of respect and attention they receive, and noticing any differences between what we have and what they have. For some of us, this need to compare serves as a spur to excel through our work. For others, it can turn into deep envy—feelings of inferiority and frustration that lead to covert attacks and sabotage. Nobody admits to acting out of envy. You must recognize the early warning signs—praise and bids for friendship that seem effusive and out of proportion; subtle digs at you under the guise of good-natured humor; apparent uneasiness with your success.
With envy comes the secret desire to hurt, wound, or steal from the envied person, to right the unfairness that comes with his or her supposed superiority. Envy is a painful emotion, an admission of our own inferiority, something rather unbearable for us humans. It is not an emotion we want to sit with and brood over. We like to conceal it from ourselves and not be aware that it motivates our actions. The potter envies the potter, the craftsman the craftsman, the writer the writer.” If you experience success, those in your field who have similar aspirations but who are still struggling will naturally feel envious. You should be reasonably tolerant of this because if the tables were reversed, you would probably feel the same. Do not take so personally their faint praise and veiled criticisms. But be aware that among some of these peers envy can turn active and dangerous.
If you find yourself under an envy attack, your best strategy is to control your emotions. It is much easier to do this once you realize that envy is the source. The envier feeds upon your overreaction as material to criticize you, justify their actions, and entangle you in some further drama. At all costs, maintain your composure. If possible, get some physical distance as well—fire them, cut off contact, whatever is possible. Do not imagine you can somehow repair the relationship. Your generosity in trying this will only intensify their feelings of inferiority. They will strike again. By all means defend yourself from any public attacks or gossip that they spread, but do not harbor revenge fantasies. The envier is miserable. The best strategy is let to them stew in their “cold poison” from a distance, without any future means of wounding you. Their chronic unhappiness is punishment enough.
#HumanNature
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15 YEARS OF SELF-DISCOVERY: WHAT I'VE LEARNED
1. lying underground all night in order to meet death, going on a 72-hour psychedelic trip, or staying silent and meditating for 10 days without a break — is nothing. the coolest practice is to live each day so that you feel good and calm deep in your heart, even when the world is collapsing
2. both psychology and spiritual traditions essentially develop three important pillars for a harmonious life 👉 read the full post here: https://t.me/zen_psy_life/7
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Meeting Challenges
People who show more resilience are less emotional in general, but the pain is no less for resilient people than it is for others; it is a matter of how they choose to use it. The pain may continue, even over a whole lifetime, but for these people it raises a challenge that they decide to meet. The challenge is to overcome what has happened, to find strength in the experience instead of letting it defeat them, and to use the strength to move defiantly forward. Adopting this attitude depends on the quality of your self-love. If you feel terribly gripped by insecurities, your moments of resilience will be shallow. What you need is a complete acceptance of your character, including your flaws, which you can see clearly but even appreciate and love. From a position of genuine inner strength and resilience, you can more easily direct your attention outward.
Think of it in this way: such strength comes from deep within the core of the person. It could stem from a mixture of certain factors—genetics, secure parenting, good mentors along the way, and constant improvement. Whatever the cause, this strength is not something displayed on the outside in the form of bluster or aggression but manifests itself in overall resilience and adaptability. Resilience is like a good piece of metal—it can give and bend but still retains its overall shape and never breaks.
The strength emanates from a feeling of personal security and self-worth. This allows you to take criticism and learn from experiences. This means you do not give up so easily, since they want to learn how to get better. You are rigorously persistent. Resilient people are open to new ideas and ways of doing things without compromising the basic principles they adhere to. In adversity they can retain their presence of mind. They can handle chaos and the unpredictable without succumbing to anxiety. They keep their word. They have patience, can organize a lot of material, and complete what they start. Not continually insecure about their status, they can also subsume their personal interests to the good of the group, knowing that what works best for the team will in the end make their life easier and better.
#HumanNature
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Pursue Less
It takes work to simplify one’s life, and perhaps that’s why most people are engaged in the undisciplined pursuit of more rather than less. Saying no is uncomfortable, so by default they say yes to new obligations. They don’t pause and ponder on how they use up their energy because it takes too much work. There’s always something urgent to do, and hence they never take the time to deliberately eliminate what’s unessential in their lives so they can focus on what matters.It’s particularly important to remedy a situation in which your non-priorities dominate your priorities.
When you stop and really think about it, conventional life advice—all the positive and happy self-help stuff we hear all the time—is actually fixating on what you lack. It lasers in on what you perceive your personal shortcomings and failures to already be, and then emphasizes them for you. Our culture today is obsessively focused on unrealistically positive expectations: Be happier. Be healthier. Be the best, better than the rest. Be smarter, faster, richer, sexier, more popular, more productive, more envied, and more admired. Be perfect and amazing, the world is constantly telling you that the path to a better life is more, more, more—buy more, own more, make more, more more, be more.
If you want to retain control over your life, embrace the strategy of deliberately pursuing less. Instead of thinking how you can add more to your life, figure out what you can eliminate from it, in order to make more time for what matters most for you. The key to a good life is to care less about more; it’s wanting less, wanting what's really true and immediate and important and of course, not caring about people's judgement of how much you have or don't have. This does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.
#HumanNature
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ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ
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@Laws_of_Human_Nature
Pursue Less
It takes work to simplify one’s life, and perhaps that’s why most people are engaged in the undisciplined pursuit of more rather than less. Saying no is uncomfortable, so by default they say yes to new obligations. They don’t pause and ponder on how they use up their energy because it takes too much work. There’s always something urgent to do, and hence they never take the time to deliberately eliminate what’s unessential in their lives so they can focus on what matters.It’s particularly important to remedy a situation in which your non-priorities dominate your priorities.
When you stop and really think about it, conventional life advice—all the positive and happy self-help stuff we hear all the time—is actually fixating on what you lack. It lasers in on what you perceive your personal shortcomings and failures to already be, and then emphasizes them for you. Our culture today is obsessively focused on unrealistically positive expectations: Be happier. Be healthier. Be the best, better than the rest. Be smarter, faster, richer, sexier, more popular, more productive, more envied, and more admired. Be perfect and amazing, the world is constantly telling you that the path to a better life is more, more, more—buy more, own more, make more, more more, be more.
If you want to retain control over your life, embrace the strategy of deliberately pursuing less. Instead of thinking how you can add more to your life, figure out what you can eliminate from it, in order to make more time for what matters most for you. The key to a good life is to care less about more; it’s wanting less, wanting what's really true and immediate and important and of course, not caring about people's judgement of how much you have or don't have. This does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.
#HumanNature
♡ ㅤ ⎙ㅤ ⌲ 🔕💪
ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ
ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ
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@Laws_of_Human_Nature
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