Date Tips™💡

What don't lots of people realize? That only rabbits breed quickly, but lasting results in life require discipline and regularity. You don't start making millions in a snap if you don't change your mindset, and that takes resolve and time. You won't start speaking a foreign language by taking one class. You don't get rid of psychological problems by going to counseling a couple or three times. So - what is "fast" actually? Fast is slow but steady. And the "I want it all at once" mentality is a dead end.

Why did you break up? If you delve into your breakups, you can easily discover that the root cause of each one was unfulfilled expectations on your part and on the part of the other. You were counting on one behavior and attitude, but in reality you received something different from him, and it doesn't matter in what areas - whether it's sex, the level of attention, common interests, children or money. And what you received ended up not coinciding with your ideas of how things should be, how you would like them to be. Neither did the other to you.

Accepting oneself in success is not difficult. Accepting oneself in defeat is something everyone learns sooner or later. Accepting oneself in strong feelings is something that any book or even the most superficial psychological training will teach you. ⠀ But do you know how to accept yourself as inactive, as nothing, as standing at ground zero? Incomprehensible to yourself and others? To stop and not follow the fashionable trends of rocking yourself? Give yourself time to duck or digest what's going on? How easy is that for you? Or do you spend all your energy to avoid facing your inactive self?

THE LIAR DECEIVES HIMSELF FIRST ⠀ The person who deceives you, accidentally or consciously, is always, on some level, fooling himself. Since it is impossible, without delusions, to dare this autonomic dissonance that occurs in the body while lying. And to dare the dissonance in the human being, when words do not coincide with thoughts, and thoughts with feelings. ⠀ When people in conflict are perfectly confident about something you disagree with, or something that goes against common sense, agreements, or obvious facts, you can argue with them long and hard. Prove them wrong. Defend that two times two is four. But you can stop these futile attempts when you realize they are not cheating on you, they are fooling themselves.

GETTING OUT OF A CO-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP ⠀ A person, who has stopped playing co-dependent games and raping himself, who has left the pathological system in one way or another, is often seen from inside the system as a traitor who has failed, abandoned, left alone, chosen the easy life. ⠀ And no one is saying he is right. But typically, a member of the system has no other way of showing the pathology of what’s going on than betrayal, serving as healing power.

Manipulator Phrases to Drive Anyone Crazy I've brought together 3 phrases for you that manipulators use to undermine your independence. 💭 "You exaggerate everything." A manipulator will purposely make you feel like a PARANOIC. For example, flirt with your ex(s) in front of everyone, and then say you were imagining things. 💭 "I hate drama." The manipulator arranges PROVOCATIONS and when you react, blame you. That you are setting up the drama they hate so much. Cultivates feelings of guilt. 💭 "You got me wrong." Misunderstandings occur in any couple. But manipulators set up provocations that you respond to, they turn everything upside down so they can blame you. (Yeah, it's very much like a simple trick.) 💡 The only way to get out of such a relationship is to stop all contact. No texts, calls, or friendships on social media.

Hazard of Pessimism The pessimist sees no success in the actions, the world around him gives him no reason to be happy. Such an attitude to the world reduces the quality of life and might contribute to the development of depression. An interesting fact: With their attitude to life, pessimists inhibit the production of endorphins, which directly reduces well-being and weakens the immune system. Simply put, they kill themselves. But you shouldn't confuse a pessimist with a realist - this is a completely DIFFERENT view of life. A realist is a person who is neutral to everything going on around him🙌🏻 He doesn't let his emotions or desires affect the situation. Like that famous example about the glass being half-full, you know. The pessimist thinks it's half empty, while the realist sees it as half full. So, the realist will just drink water from this glass to quench his thirst😁

Two rules to change your love life Let's talk about the things your relationship is doomed to fail without. Screw advice on how to fuck a chick or get married. There are only two rules in sex life that really work. They fit both men and women. Simple means good. Hard means bad. No need to prove anything in a relationship. You don't have to woo or chase anyone. Do it once, you will do it every day, and all you will see in response is a dissatisfied face. If things are not working out right away, do not pull the cat by the tail. Relationships should bring joy. If the relationship ceased to bring joy and began to bring disgust - end it at the root. Never get used to the showdown and tears. This is not normal! After all, many people have been chewing the chewed-up hay of their resentments for years! They occupy their brains with unnecessary squabbles - don't do that! These rules are necessary to build a long and stable relationship.

How to identify a verbal aggressor Lots of people hardly realize how serious the consequences of psychological violence are, but it is no less dangerous than physical aggression. 1. The Mood Killer Moral sadists can't stand it when someone is feeling good, and so they will look for convenient excuses to ruin your mood, each time enjoying bringing you to tears. 2. Unconditional Justice Verbal aggressors never apologize: they are sure they are right by default. 3. Infringement of Interests They often ridicule other people's hobbies and interests, making people ashamed or even embarrassed of their favorite activities. 4. Impairment Aggressors devalue the work of others and speak with contempt of any achievements, causing us to give up and think that our efforts do not need anyone. 5. Disguised lowliness Verbal terror often takes place behind closed doors so that no one can interfere. The victim is quietly harassed at school, work, or home and gradually driven to the point of extreme despair.

Choosing a therapist: him or her Who is better to address - a man or a woman? The opinion of experts in the general case boils down to the following: no matter. Do what you think is right. Only the professionalism of the specialist plays a role in the therapy. Find out about the therapist's qualifications and specialization: where he studied, what methods he prefers, what kind of problems he works with, what kind of feedback you get from those following his therapy. If questions about the therapist's field arise, it's helpful to answer a few questions: 1. How do I feel at the thought of seeing a therapist of that gender? 2. What exactly is frightening? 3. Why do I need a therapist of that gender?

Second date: 3 mistakes to avoid 1. Excessive expectations Hold off on the expectations. Let things go as they go. 2. Talking only about yourself Ask. No more telling your business or your worries all the time. Genuine interest in the other person can do wonders! 3. Ignoring your own feelings Listen to yourself. If you feel really great, agree to the next meeting. If not, leave it alone. If you keep these recommendations in mind, then the second date will certainly pass with flying colors.

About the value and devaluation of life experiences When people break up by rejecting, devaluing and demeaning each other, they are perhaps a little less hurt, since it is easier to part with something not really valuable or generally harmful. But, as part of a life strategy, devaluing is a waste of a resource. When we reject a person and the value of a relationship with that person, we reject the life experience gained in that relationship. And so life's time is wasted. How often do you hear: "I wasted so much time on that fool" or "I gave it my all”. ⠀ After all, what are we left with after the breakups that inevitably happen in life? What we are left with is life experience and the ability to apply it.

How to free up time? ⠀ ▫️ Planning. A necessary thing to allocate your time as efficiently and proportionately as possible. ▫️ Priorities. So, once you've written down all the things to do, you need to determine their level of importance. Consistency of priorities will play an important role in getting the job done efficiently. ▫️ Workplace. That’s definitely something worth paying attention to! Who would want to study in a mess? ▫️ Frog for breakfast. Sounds interesting, huh? In other words, make a habit of taking on the hard work right away first, not putting it off for later.

Motivation for action Imagine the end result of the goal, task, idea. Write it down. If necessary, find additional information about your goal/objective/idea, write down its implementation points. Write down a specific end goal with an "if-then" condition. For example, if you love to read books, but a lot of time wasted, set yourself the condition to read 100 pages a day for 14 days (if), than you can buy a new thing, which has long dreamed of. In the case where you are overcome by laziness, and you can not bring yourself to act, imagine what would happen if you do not complete the task. For example, if you do not wake up at 6 a.m., then you will long nag yourself for your weak will.

How to behave on a first date? In order for the first date not to be the last, you need to understand a few simple rules👇🏻 ▫️ Stay confident. It's okay to be nervous on a first date. Acting confident, being yourself is the surest way to look natural. ▫️ Dress appropriately. Usually on a first date a man looks at a woman from head to toe, and she tries to impress him. ▫️ Take care when choosing a fragrance. Without knowing your date's preferences, choose unobtrusive light scents for yourself ▫️ Don't be a drag. Don't burden him with your problems and don't complain. ▫️ Be easy and have fun conversations about simple everyday topics. ▫️ Take off the rose-tinted glasses. Do not embellish the image of a man, do not praise him, do not make long-range plans for him. If the date was interesting for you, don't forget to thank for an enjoyable time.