Date Tips™💡

​How the environment "prescribes" our personality for years to come Another telling story from my recent vacation came to mind - it relates to this very topic☝🏻 Sitting on the balcony during the evening part of the day, I observed a family on the veranda of a small café inside the complex of three people having dinner: middle-aged parents and a boy of about twelve. Eating in silence, at one point the mother says to her daughter, "You'll eat now and go to bed." "I don't want to sleep," the boy replies. "Nobody's asking you," the father puts in his point. Nothing seemingly unique or inappropriately rude. Probably a lot of people have heard similar things in their childhood. But here's what's likely to happen to this boy. When he grows up, he won't even realize why he doesn't have an opinion about life. Why he torments himself with a bitchy wife, why he bends to a despotic boss, why he tolerates strange friends who waste his time and unashamedly use his resources without giving anything in return🙌🏻 Why? Because such poking (which his father did) forms a slavish firmament throughout growing up - no one asks you, keep your head down, take a walk in the yard. Discipline is certainly useful and necessary. But, I have to ask, who do you want to raise? An obedient man, following commands, the opinion of the majority and unable to make serious decisions? I doubt it🤔 Then, future parents, give your children plenty of freedom and give a REASON for all this "discipline".

The easiest trick for controlling dialogue Today I wanted to discuss this aspect of our lives. 👉🏻 Mirroring or reflection is a basic psychological technique that allows you to attract your interlocutor. It consists in repeating poses, facial expressions, gestures, tone and phrases of the person. When the interlocutor demonstrates body language similar to ours, this subconsciously makes us react in the same way: "I feel that this person likes me - he agrees with me. I like him because we are alike - we have a lot in common, I'm interested and enjoyable with him." Just please don't overdo the degree of reflection! Do not take a completely mirror pose, mark only one element - crossed arms, tilt of the head or position of the torso. Don't copy movements and facial expressions thoroughly in the same second - copy, for example, the manner of movements (calm, sparse, open). I have already practiced these things to automatism and regularly use them in business negotiations👌🏻

​Funny and sweet story happened to me today A couple of days ago I arrived in my hometown. Population of several hundred thousand people - calm and unhurried atmosphere prevails even in the center. Well, at least it seems that way after the central cities😬 I'm sitting in my car in the center, waiting for a call from a man. A boy about 11 years old comes up to me with a very shabby bouquet of flowers and offers to buy them. I automatically refuse him - he leaves and continues to offer people around to buy flowers. They refuse him, refuse him for the twentieth time, but he does not give up! And something about this made me go all sentimental, I do not know why... I looked at him for about three minutes, decided to get out of the car and walked over: - "How much for the flowers?" - "200," he said with eyes like the cat from Shrek. I gave him 500 and took the half-dead bouquet. Threw it on the back seats and drove on about my business. I had this awful nice, warm feeling in my stomach, and... And then I drove 500 meters, and I saw a bed in front of a three-storeyed building, where the kid seemed to have picked this bouquet😁 I looked at the flowers, and their stems just broken, and as obliquely and unevenly as possible - the kid literally broke them with his hands. The science of the story is this. Learn how to make money from nothing and give people good things😅 It feels good. I gave the flowers to an old acquaintance (my wife won't be offended!).

Don't make excuses. ☝🏻 A highly useful habit that I recommend you "get”. A person who is overly dependent on public opinion tends to blame everyone else for his failures, but not himself. He is constantly looking for excuses... Why? It's not clear👐🏻 We need to get rid of this strange and unnecessary manner! Successful people know that they are responsible for everything that happens in their personal and professional lives. The point of making excuses for one's blunders is to pay MAXIMUM attention to them - it's the only way to become more productive. The other extreme of "justifying oneself" is belief in fate and predestination. I don't even want to comment here... Believing in "predestination" is very convenient🙃 Friends, rely only on yourself and control your own destiny. Waiting for a miracle is unproductive.

"I chose the wrong field to become rich." This thesis-justification seems quite successful to many people. Like, how am I going to make money being a conductor/teacher/miner? And yes, this argument seems logical enough... But, let's look at the question deeper🤔 Aren't there millionaires and billionaires in virtually every sphere of life? Haven't people created corporations on a global scale by working their way up to the main product factory of a future corporation? Or isn't there a teacher who has taken to popularizing his or her field (physics, chemistry, math, and so on)? Yes, there certainly are! What distinguishes them from those who don't? It's simple - they love, know, and masterfully "do" their thing. So, of course, it is important to focus on relevant and in-demand activities. But this is not the most important condition for success👌🏻

I'm gonna share my experience with the "magic pill". Easy, nothing illegal😁 I'm about to share about nootropics. Not long ago they were recommended from all sides as a way to "improve the brain's abilities". They say that nootropic drugs help to improve concentration and "get through" difficult periods without stress. But somehow I didn't notice this effect🤔 For some reason I wasn’t satisfied with this fact and decided to dig deeper. As I managed to find out - nootropics are not exactly needed to "improve brain abilities". These drugs are used to prevent the development of brain dysfunctions in elderly people🙃 They take care of the brain vessels, so to speak. As one doctor friend explained to me: 👉🏻Notropics can't bring memory back or improve it-they can stop the process of losing it. And just so you know, nootropics are not used in Europe and America.

I'd like to touch on a hot topic today. The topic of how we, men, feel about marriage😁 And to be more specific, it is about the favorite excuse "the stamp is not important, it does not solve anything". Of course, that's a fallacy. The stamp decides a lot from the legal and psychological point of view. Its effect on the "climate" within a couple is not my question, and that's another conversation. It's just that women need to understand the weight of responsibility that falls on a man at once. That's why women are not afraid of a stamp - they have much less responsibility. This is, by no means, gender discrimination, it's just a fact🙃 I'll give men a piece of advice - don't drag your ladies with phrases like "a stamp is not important". It won't do any good.

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The most valuable and important thing for you is… The uniqueness of your thoughts, knowledge and skills👌🏻 These are simply the KEY things that attract people to you in both work and human relationships. Average skills and chasing "trendy professions" certainly makes some sense. What's more, it can even yield some good results. However, be afraid to miss out and ignore your uniqueness! If there is an occupation that brings you joy - try to develop in it. If there are strengths in an existing job, but there are internal fears about them - give up on your fears and try it. That's advice for ages😉

Is it really worth it to be cold-blooded at all? It's such a... A quality that dulls the senses, both good and bad. How to enjoy yourself with such a given?! Oh, it's easy, I'll tell you with confidence😉 So many painful situations can be avoided by a moderately cold-blooded attitude. Especially, it is good to keep away from "so-so" people. True, you often trust "so-so" people first and then you start treating it right... So, yeah. The big catch is that cold-blooded people aren't born🙌🏻 In almost the vast majority of cases, equanimity is the result of the peripeteia of life events and decisions. So, this feeling is primarily "stuffed" by experience. How to guide yourself in cultivating equanimity? Oh, and this is not an easy question... We will definitely discuss it next time😉

"How to attract money to yourself?" Don't you think this is one of the most clichéd lures in info-space😁 Crowds of adults seriously believe that money is "attracted." It's all utter nonsense. Money is not attracted - it is CREATED. It is created when you change your mindset and begin to realize yourself and your abilities. If a person hasn't "found himself" in this world, it's highly probable that random big money will only do him harm. Just remember people who won the lottery or children of successful parents who "lived out" all the family's savings. So, a good thing is when the process of enrichment is gradual. Money is created in your life only when you yourself become the person who can have money👌🏻

Inner supports are one of the most important points for building confidence Let me give you one practice to help you with the task at hand. Make a list of your strong qualities and achievements - at least 50 points, better 100 or more. Reread it every day and replenish it. To reduce the importance of the opinions of others, it is worth to be the attention in the body, to observe the feelings that arise. Also notice thoughts that undermine self-esteem, and praise yourself for noticing and stopping😉

The most important skill in life is planning your day Yeah, the advice about creating a day plan has been around for so long that many people don't take it seriously anymore. And in vain🙌🏻 Tried it out on myself about 7 years ago and life just got easier! There's nothing worse than a poorly organized work routine - you grab onto everything at once and can't really do anything well is difficult. You can, of course, keep all the information in your head (I did that for a long time). But no matter how much of a brain you have - you still forget something😁 So, plan out all your activities, allocate a certain amount of time for each and do not forget about the necessary breaks. Such a regimen allows you to calculate your own leisure time, which is VERY important. Burnout has never been eliminated...

Bosses exploit workers who don't ask for a raise It's just a great source of cheap labor... Such people are deluded into thinking that talking to a boss about a promotion or pay raise is embarrassing and uncomfortable. 👉🏻 "You're being used to your advantage, and you're thinking about shame?" - I want to shout, but I hold back. It is important not to act on the wave of emotions! You should not save your discontent for a long time, and then burst into the head, splashing out on him, all that has accumulated. And there is no need to use theses like "I work more than anyone else," "I work overtime, while others" and the like. This is not only ineffective, but may even exacerbate the relationship with his boss. What should you do then? Armed with the facts of your high performance and choosing the right time (the company is going uphill). You have to prove that the salary increase will be beneficial not only to you, but also to the company😉

Why do people divide into strong and weak? And I'm not talking about physical characteristics - I'm talking about strength of mind, character, perseverance. Yes, let's dig a little deeper. There's a rather famous phrase: 👉🏻 To be strong is not a given, but to be weak is not a disease! And here we are talking just about a person's position in life. A weak person simply can afford to be weak, and a strong person can't. After all, if we look closer, there is always someone stronger, a decision-maker, next to the weak. He is responsible not only for himself, but also "for that guy." In essence, he allows the weak person to be weak. So there are no weak people in nature? There are people who are comfortable being weak. I hold that position in my life. And yes, I know this position is debatable - I often talk to my friends about it🤔

Small talk is an important element of life in society It's that casual conversation in the elevator with an unfamiliar colleague, in the parking lot with a security guard, in a coffee shop with a bartender and so on... Such a small talk to fill an awkward pause👌🏻 Small talk is simply unreplaceable during work breaks, useful at corporate parties and informal meetings. I probably can't even remember how many casual introductions, after such short conversations, have come in handy in my life! Even a few investment projects have been led to by these "threads"🤔 What is the most important thing in such "little conversations"? It's simple - sincerity and goodwill. Comment, parry, ask questions, compliment, back up your words with emotion, and don't forget to smile. Mastering this skill will make you a desirable conversationalist in any company.

Today's post is short with a simple message 👉🏻To get rid of the fear of making a mistake, of the limitation that "nothing will work," you have to take it and make Mistakes. And as often as possible. Stories about convenient and "safe" ways don't really work, unfortunately. Mistakes are an essential part of growth. Well, we won't understand WHY it's like this unless we get into "it's like this" ourselves! I notice how differently I perceive song lyrics now and before. As I've gotten older, the words and messages of the musicians I listened to in my youth have become more and more clingy.🙌🏻 I've been wrong more than once and will continue to do so. Success only grows when we allow ourselves that luxury of being wrong, drawing conclusions and moving on. The only one who doesn't make mistakes is the one who does nothing. I don't like to turn to proverbs, but here it comes in handy as never before😉

Metaphor is a powerful device for brightening your speech🗣 In addition to it there is analogy and epithet. What's the difference? 🌙 The moon like cheese is an analogy. 🌙 A cheese moon is an epithet. 🌙 A piece of cheese hanging in the sky at night - metaphor That said, metaphor is stronger than epithet, and it is stronger than analogy. It's simple👌 It's important to remember: ❌ Don't use metaphors that are a mauvais ton: "spitting bile," "pissing boiling water," and other hackneyed crap. Build up your vocabulary to use catchy idioms. Think about it, what's easier to sell: "A decoration for your flowers" or "A vase for your flowers"? Here's an example: When Kodak invented the camera, the technology was new and unknown to anyone. They called it the "memory mirror”. The camera film is the memory and the lens is the mirror. And the whole world understood them!

How to speak correctly and persuade people📢 To do this, you need to develop the skill of oratory, which includes rhetoric, acting and psychology techniques. I learned this from a professionals for about a year and a half, and here are the basic techniques I got: ❇️ Used metaphors. They evoke emotions and anchor the information in the memory of those who are listening. ❇️ Told stories and anecdotes that made the story more alive and close to the audience. ❇️ Demonstrated his high moral convictions. This is perceived as the norm to follow. ❇️ Responded to the feelings of others to form an emotional connection. ❇️ Used contrasts to brighten speech and focus on what was needed. ❇️ Asked rhetorical questions that make people think. In addition, I recommend using a nonverbal component: body position, gestures, facial expressions, intonation.

Pretty essential thing to know how to behave in an argument If you hear insults or your interlocutor switched to personalities - consider that you have already won in this dialogue. This pattern is very important to get, so as to avoid even more heat in the situation and further senseless waste of time. A person just can't admit defeat and looks for any reason not to accept it. Worthy arguments, if there were any, are already over. The goal of such an interlocutor is to provoke a backlash and drag you into this abyss of maximum unproductive conversation. Experienced people in this business simply acknowledge the imperfection of their personality and end the dialogue with a squared-off winner. But this manner of communication doesn't even deserve that😉 I rarely have to go exactly into an argument for work, but difficult dialogues are a frequent practice.