Crypto soothsayer

🎅 Santa Rally incoming? 🚀 Bitcoin may be gearing up for a classic December surge — the so-called “Santa Rally”. Analysts note that BTC has finished six of the last eight Decembers in the green, with gains up to +46%. 📊 According to CryptoQuant and Coinglass, current accumulation by long-term holders, possible Fed rate cuts, and Trump’s proposed $2,000 “tariff dividend” (basically a fresh round of stimulus) could inject new liquidity into the market — boosting risk assets like BTC. 💬 Experts believe volatility in 2026 will remain high, but now it’s more about institutional flows and global liquidity than retail hype. So, after a shaky October, the setup looks familiar — cautious bears in November, followed by a potentially festive December pump. 🎁 BTC traders are already writing their letters to Santa (and the Fed).

🇺🇸 🌴 The fifth statue of Satoshi Nakamoto in the world has been unveiled in Miami Crypto heavyweights Michael Saylor (MicroStrategy), Paolo Ardoino (Tether), and Brandon Latnick (Cantor Fitzgerald) attended the ceremony. 💬 Fittingly, the city that hosted the first major Bitcoin conferences now becomes home to a “Vanishing Satoshi.”

🇬🇧 🇨🇳 London Jails Chinese “Crypto Queen” — $6.3B in Bitcoin Seized! A 47-year-old Chinese woman, Zhimin Qian (aka Yadi Zhang), has been sentenced in London to 11 years and 8 months for fraud and money laundering — and had $6.3 billion in crypto confiscated.💰 British police seized 61,000 BTC back in 2018 — the largest crypto seizure in UK history. From 2014 to 2017, Qian ran a Ponzi scheme in China disguised as biotech and mining investments, scamming over 120,000 victims, mostly retirees. She fled the country with fake documents and lived lavishly in the UK — luxury rentals, jewelry, Dubai properties. Justice finally caught up after 7 years on the run. Now, the only mystery left is: who’ll get the $6.3B — victims or the British treasury? 😏

📉 If Bitcoin is repeating its previous cycles (2015–2018 and 2018–2022), the market peak may have already happened on October 26, marking the start of a new bear phase 🐻👀 That’s why many analysts are now talking about the end of the 4-year cycle and predicting the next big rally in 2026. 🚀 Let’s hope they’re right — nobody’s ready for another crypto winter just yet ✋❄️

Binance Reserves Rebound to $120B After Market Turbulence 💵 Following recent market volatility, Binance has shown strong resilience — its total reserves have recovered to $120B, just 17% below the all-time high of $144B. 💪 📈 USDT (ERC20) holdings hit a new record at $42.8B, while BTC reserves reached 548K coins, the second-largest among all exchanges. 🔎 According to CryptoQuant, Binance’s reserves grew by $4B in recent weeks, signaling a return of user activity after the platform’s recent “stress test.”

🤑 Vancouver Mayor Pays for Soda with Bitcoin The Mayor of Vancouver just bought a soda using the Bitcoin Lightning Network, paying 1,000 SATs (around a few cents). ⚡️🥤 It’s a small purchase — but a big symbolic step for Bitcoin adoption in Canada. The demo showed how fast and cheap BTC payments can be in everyday life — no banks, no cards, just sats. Looks like politicians are finally starting to taste the future — literally. 😎

📉 ETH Supply on Binance Hits Lowest Level Since May Data from CryptoQuant shows that Ethereum reserves on Binance have dropped to their lowest point since May. 🕵️ Analysts see this as a transition phase for the ETH market — investors are increasingly accumulating and holding their coins instead of moving them to exchanges. 💎✋ Such trends often signal growing confidence and potential upside pressure on price in the midterm.

🔥 XRP Spot ETF Could Launch Within Days According to Eric Balchunas, the long-awaited XRP Spot ETF may go live tomorrow or Thursday. 👀 Investment firm Canary Capital filed Form 8-A with the SEC last night — one of the final steps before listing. 📈 When a similar filing was made for the Hedera ($HBAR) ETF, the listing followed the next day — so the XRP scenario could repeat, though the official launch date hasn’t been confirmed yet.

📊 CryptoQuant Signals BTC Growth Potential to $120K According to CryptoQuant, the STH MVRV indicator (showing short-term holders’ profit levels) points to a possible Bitcoin rise to $115K–$120K in the near term. 🚀 On Nov 7, the metric hit a local low of 0.9124, near the lower edge of its historical range — and has since recovered to 0.9514, signaling stabilization. 📈 If STH MVRV stays above 0.92, analysts expect a rebound toward the upper range limit, aligning with Bitcoin’s next potential upside target.

🇬🇧 UK Proposes Stablecoin Holding Limits The Bank of England has proposed capping stablecoin holdings at £20,000 ($26.3K) for individuals and £10M for companies. The rule would apply only to GBP-pegged, systemically important stablecoins, not to USDT, USDC, or other trading-focused coins. 💷 ⚖️ Despite being softer than before, the UK’s framework remains stricter than in the U.S. — with the Bank of England overseeing large pound-backed coins and the FCA monitoring the rest. 🗓 New rules could take effect after consultations in 2026.

The $105,000 Transaction Fee Mistake Someone tried to send 1 BTC to Kraken, but accidentally set the fee to 0.99 BTC — losing over $105,000 in the process. 😬 In the end, the user received just 0.0001 BTC ($10). Talk about “locking in profits” — just not the kind they hoped for. 🤷 💸 A painful reminder: always double-check your transaction settings before hitting “Send.” One wrong zero can make you a legend… for all the wrong reasons.

💰 Strategy Keeps Buying — +487 BTC Added Strategy (or as the market calls them — “the ultimate Bitcoin whale”) has bought 487 BTC for $49.9M at an average price of $102,557 per coin. 🐋 As of November 9, 2025, the company now holds a total of 641,692 BTC, purchased for $47.54B — with an average entry of $74,079 per Bitcoin. 💵 📈 Once again, Saylor proves: when in doubt, buy more bitcoin.

💶 Bitcoin Graffiti Spreads Across Europe Crypto activists in Europe have started “vandalizing” euro banknotes by stamping or writing messages like “Buy Bitcoin” on them. 🪙✍️ The movement aims to protest against inflation and promote Bitcoin as an alternative to traditional money. Such marked bills are now popping up in Germany, France, Spain, and Italy, circulating freely through ATMs and shops. 🔥 What began as a small prank is turning into a grassroots Bitcoin awareness campaign — spreading the crypto message right in people’s wallets.

🖥 Hashprice Drops to $42 — Miners in Survival Mode The hashprice has fallen to around $42 per PH/s, pushing many small miners to the brink of shutting down their rigs. ⚡️ With rising network difficulty and growing operational costs, mining is becoming less profitable — forcing many companies to pivot toward AI computing and data center services to stay afloat. 📉 Hashprice measures mining profitability — how much revenue a miner earns per unit of hashrate (typically per 1 PH/s).

🤯 Crypto Twitter Thinks They Found Satoshi Nakamoto A viral post claims the person in a recent video is Satoshi Nakamoto, the creator of Bitcoin — and that it might be Daira Emma Hopwood, a cryptographer and early Zcash / Electric Coin Company (ECC) engineer. 🧐 📚 An ECC blog from 2019 calls her a core team member and protocol designer. Some even note that Satoshi once mentioned her name in a 2010 forum post discussing key blinding and group signatures — concepts central to Daira’s later work on Zcash privacy tech. 🇬🇧 Adding to the theory: Satoshi’s use of British spelling and GMT activity, while Daira reportedly holds UK citizenship. 👀 Coincidence or hidden truth? The mystery of Satoshi deepens once again.

🎰 CFTC to Allow Leveraged Crypto Trading in the U.S. The U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) is preparing to launch leveraged spot trading of BTC and ETH on regulated exchanges (DCMs) — marking a historic shift for the American crypto market. 🇺🇸 Until now, these exchanges could only trade futures. Soon, real crypto assets will be traded under federal oversight, just like oil or gold — bringing crypto out of the regulatory gray zone. 💼 The move opens the door for institutional players to trade crypto safely within the legal framework. Participants include Coinbase, Bitnomial, Kalshi, and Polymarket. 💵 CFTC’s Caroline Pham also pushes for tokenized collateral in stablecoins by early 2026. If successful, the CFTC will dominate the “commodity” side of crypto, while the SEC keeps control over security tokens.

🇺🇸 Shutdown Over — BTC Above $106K! 🚀 🏦 U.S. senators have reached a deal — the government shutdown is officially coming to an end. The bill still needs to pass the House of Representatives and get the president’s signature, but markets are already celebrating. 📈 Bitcoin broke above $106,000, showing strong bullish momentum. 🔥 Adding fuel to the rally — Trump’s promise to give every American $2,000 from tariff revenues (~$400B!). For comparison, the U.S. collected only ~$195B in customs duties in 2025. 💬 Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said the “$2,000 from Trump” plan could come via tax cuts, not money printing — but markets already smell free liquidity. 😎

Bitcoin MVRV suggests a potential bottom! 🧐 📊The MVRV ratio for Bitcoin has dropped to 1.8 — its lowest level since April, historically marking a buy zone and local bottom formation. Analysts see strong support near $99,000. 💪 Fundamentally, things look solid: • Exchange reserves are falling — coins are moving to self-custody. • Recent liquidations mostly hit overleveraged traders. • Long-term holders keep taking profits calmly. 💵 With $183B in USDT and $75B in USDC supply, investors seem ready to buy once the market stabilizes.

🚀 ZEC is already over $700! Since July 2024, Zcash (ZEC) has surged 44x — from $16 to over $700. 🤯