Date Tips™💡

How to learn to say "no"? A person who finds it hard to refuse others is a really handy person. You can dump a lot of work on him, he won't say no to loved ones, always come to the rescue, give help, lend money. What to do? Start with a small, very first "no"! And then, it's worth continuing, asserting this skill👇🏻 ▫️ Give yourself permission not to be "all good." Give yourself permission to act in your own best interest. ▫️ Practice saying "no" to strangers - store clerks, waiters, neighbors. ▫️ Choose a form of rejection that is acceptable to you. Sharp, soft, humorous or serious - there are many options. ▫️ Fear of rejection is the fear of being judged. Judged, so what? It's just the opinion of others... Sure, there will be people who won't accept you with your "no," even those close to you won't like it. But those who care about you, who want to be there for you, who respect you, will always be around.

What does a person prone to co-dependency look like? In fact, such a person is quite easy to recognize. A co-dependent person in a relationship will try: ▫️Make his partner happy even if it violates his principles. ▫️Ignore own desires, thoughts and needs, for the sake of the other. ▫️Adjusts to the mood of another. ▫️Avoids conflict emphatically. ▫️The typical response of a co-dependent to the question, "What do you want to do today?" Sounds something like, "I don't care, what do you want to"? Recognize yourself? No? Then I'm glad for you. And if you're ready to accept the presence of a couple or three points in yourself, you should think about it and start working on your mistakes.

Freedom or Discipline What to choose: doing things by mood or by schedule❓ The truth is one. Discipline is your conscious freedom. Some people like to keep plans and strive to be productive every day. But many get lost in the wrong approach as they don't master time management and don't know what they ultimately want and where their path will lead them. Constant workloads and excessive self-demanding lead to worse results. Other people make the mistake of thinking that the decisions they make in the moment depending on "want" and "can" will lead to anything at all. They live out the illusion of their work, even though the work itself is done incorrectly and disorganized. Finding balance is about finding yourself and your purpose, which are in unified harmony, under your own self.

Perception of praise All things truly marvelous are complete and perfect on their own, with no praise in them: they are neither made worse nor better by praise. This also holds true for what is commonly called beautiful, be it the creatures of nature or art, for the truly magnificent needs what? No more than law, no more than truth, no more than devotion and modesty. Of this, which will adorn praise, which will spoil scolding? Is the emerald become worse when it is not praised?

THE BASIC WOES OF OUR TIME The major evils of our time stem not from our moral depravity but, on the contrary, from our often misguided moral enthusiasm - our desire to build a better world. Our wars are essentially religious ones. They are wars between proponents of competing theories about how to build a better world. Our moral enthusiasm is often misguided, for we fail to recognize that our oversimplified moral principles are often hard to adapt to the complex political situations we are applying them to.

Desire to control everyone and everything all the time This wish can be dictated by perfectionism, egocentrism, lack of trust and a variety of other reasons. But all these consequences have a common cause - a violation of attachment in childhood: at some point the child ceased to feel secure around his parents. He stopped trusting this world and feeling relaxed. Growing up, such children rely only on themselves. It would seem that this is absolutely "great". But there is a flip side of the coin: even when they need help, they do not ask for it, being afraid to admit to themselves some weakness. Such adults live in a state of constant tension and expect some kind of trick from the world.

What is being conscious? It is being in clarity. In such a state, you own awareness of the self, when sensations are manifested but not overwhelming, and you just observe.⠀ ⠀ Watch yourself from the outside, your reactions, your surroundings.

The only thing worse than an idler is a workaholic! Our body is not "confined" to work 24/7 - it needs to recover. If you don't track the moment when work absorbs all your thoughts and free time, you can "catch" a lot of negative consequences: from problems in your personal life to depression.

Few healthy habits for a quality life ✔️Try not eating at night and falling asleep with an empty stomach, and within 1-2 weeks you’ll have light light dreams and wake up every morning in a good mood with inspiration to do something. ✔️Try not drinking lemonades and any carbonated drinks bought at the store, and you’ll see how delicious plain water tastes. ✔️Try taking an apple/mandarin/orange/banana or drinking a glass of water every time you want to take a cigarette, and in 2 weeks you’ll feel twice as strong, sturdier and stronger. ✔️ Try turning off the TV and computer an hour or two before bedtime, and you'll start to see your desires and creative impulses.

Skills worth developing - Living in the present moment. 🔸We, living in big cities, are rarely stay in the present moment. 🔸Most of the time we don't notice what we're doing and think about something else. - Being honest with ourselves. 🔸Recognizing you're wrong is especially hard, but everyone makes mistakes without exception. 🔸Worst of all, you don't recognize them or learn any lessons from them.

It's so much like people... Waiting for happiness. I'll get my dream job and everything will change❗️ I'll meet a real man and he'll make me happy❗️ We're always waiting for him or her to be better, more responsible, more purposeful and then we'll be HAPPY. But alas, our partners or circumstances don't make us happy. If there is no feeling of harmony in our hearts, our acceptance of ourselves, understanding of our own wishes and goals, then nothing can make us happier. So, if you want to be happy, start with yourself!

What to focus on, what the first steps to take, and what direction to follow in order to become the best version of yourself! ▫️Step 1: broaden your horizons Our self-development greatly depends on our erudition. Initially, it is hard to find any path if you have scant information. ▫️Step 2: read a lot Books are an invaluable source of knowledge. Whatever your professional field, read! Explore fiction. Study spiritual literature. The whole world is in books. ▫️Step 3: move Learning the proper mechanics of exercise, the specifics of exercise and how to exercise is very mind-blowing. If you're passionate about sports, it's simply impossible not to develop.

Conscious man, what is he? He is a person aware of what he is doing at any given moment, accountable for all his actions and able to say no when necessary. A conscious person realizes what is going on in his head, he is capable of controlling his thoughts, he doesn't drown in them. He chooses his thoughts like he would choose his clothes. The conscious person thinks before saying anything to another human being. He sees the meaning of words, he knows that he can hurt the other person, so he chooses his words carefully.

Reflect on tricky issues. As an example, Oxford and Cambridge applicants are often asked challenging questions in entrance exams to train their analytical thinking. Some of them are even published in books. First, ponder them on your own, and then read the author's reasoning. Here are some samples, and you try to answer them: Can your bag ever get empty? An empty bag is not empty at all. In addition to dust, crumbs, scraps of paper, and germs, it is full of air, which takes up all the empty space. But what if you pump out the air? The bag would still be overflowing with the bubbling quantum energy produced by the appearing and disappearing particles and waves.

How to let the past go Avoid imposing standards on yourself. It's a trap! There is such a thing as a "standard of expectations". Most people absolutely know that any typical situation is bound to have its default course. And, thus, most traumas and hurts from the past are unfulfilled expectations. ➡️ For example, a woman gets married simply because she expects her husband to support her, while her husband earns pennies and doesn't bother to earn more, the woman gets divorced and is angry at the world, thinking that all men are mean and lazy. The divorce happened years ago, and if it were not for her perpetually angry and depressed state of mind, the young energetic woman would have simply found another man from among those "reined in" to earn, and she doesn't consider it a feat. Yet, all of her energy is spent regretting the past and the "best years of her life" gone irrevocably.

Psychosomatics - HOW IT WORKS Our feelings and emotions are expressed through facial expressions, gestures, tension or relaxation of body muscles, and chemistry within the body. These affect the organs. Which, in turn, have a margin of safety. Each organ has its own. Initially, so-called "functional impairment" of the organ takes place. Meaning, one has a symptom with no obvious cause (lesions, diseases detected by tests and examinations). Such symptoms are a signal that the emotional response is excessive and overwhelming. Then the functional disorders develop into "organic damage," this leads to chronic disease.

Fruitful timing For 5-10 minutes before diving into a deep sleep, our subconscious mind is ready to take in essential information, process it, and give clues. Dedicate these minutes to analyzing the day's victories, self-involvement techniques for positive attitudes, watching helpful videos, and spiritual practices.

Professionalism and awareness It's a lot of hard work. The need to make unpopular decisions. Taking emotional risks and stepping out of your comfort zone. Standing your ground. Mostly unawareness. Doing, redoing, inventing. And to face again the field of your ignorance, which is the wider the circle of light that stands out from the darkness with your attention.

Envy has many masks While we don’t want to feel it, because envy is poor, shameful, low and sometimes unbearable. We hide our envy from ourselves, calling it by different names, forbidding ourselves to feel it in order to think well of ourselves. As a result, we feel emptiness, incomprehensible sadness and anger. We are afraid of envy of others in his address, since that’s dangerous feeling, and it’s better to keep quiet about their successes. Otherwise, suddenly we’ll be devalued, become objects of anger and ridicule.

Smart people say: don't compare yourself with others But no matter what heights of awareness we have reached, willingly or unwillingly, consciously or subconsciously, we still compare ourselves to others. Since behind it is an evolutionary mechanism pop up that ensures our survival. And what matters here is not "why," but "what we have as a result" of such a comparison. As a result, we get different feelings, the most "popular" of which is envy.