Story. Рассказы на английском

A young Englishman came to Washington and devoted his days and nights to an earnest endeavor to drink all the Scotch whiskey there was. He couldn't do it, and presently went to a doctor, complaining of a disordered stomach. "Quit drinking!" ordered the doctor. "But, my dear sir, I cawn't. I get so thirsty." "Well," said the doctor, "whenever you are thirsty eat an apple instead of taking a drink." The Englishman paid his fee and left. He met a friend to whom he told his experience. "Bally rot!" he protested. "Fawncy eating forty apples a day!" 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

The Frenchman loves his native wine; The German loves his beer; The Englishman loves his 'alf and 'alf, Because it brings good cheer; The Irishman loves his "whiskey straight," Because it gives him dizziness; The American has no choice at all, So he drinks the whole blamed business. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️ Третьяковская галерея теперь в Telegram! Покупать билет не нужно: t.me/Płótno_tg

DRESSMAKERS WIFE—"Wretch! Show me that letter." HUSBAND—"What letter?" WIFE—"That one in your hand. It's from a woman, I can see by the writing, and you turned pale when you saw it." HUSBAND—"Yes. Here it is. It's your dressmaker's bill." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

We all know the troubles of a dramatist are many and varied. Here's an advertisement taken from a morning paper that shows to what a pass a genius may come in a great city: "Wanted—A collaborator, by a young playwright. The play is already written; collaborator to furnish board and bed until play is produced." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

"So you think the author of this play will live, do you?" remarked the tourist. "Yes," replied the manager of the Frozen Dog Opera House. "He's got a five-mile start and I don't think the boys kin ketch him."—Life. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️ Третьяковская галерея теперь в Telegram! Покупать билет не нужно: t.me/Nothing_Book_tg

DRAMATISTS "I hear Scribbler finally got one of his plays on the boards." "Yes, the property man tore up his manuscript and used it in the snow storm scene." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

Так как я никуда не могу поехать и даже почти не выхожу из дома, то все мои интересы, конечно, перекочевали в виртуальные миры. Который я, кстати, сам себе и придумываю. Зарылся в нейросети. И вот уже у меня выходит третий клип в ютубе. Посмотрите, когда станет скучно. Лайк и подписка, конечно, а комментарий по желанию: Киберпанк: youtu.be/655urDmfPTE?si=2GEn327GBQQfzkiQ Космический Futurism: youtu.be/FGS3de-f_Zk?si=oXLyyty-6g9dl3y1 Стимпанк: youtu.be/fUH4TAoM-rs?si=COfxleuctfZDq-nx Приятного просмотра!

Nat Goodwin, the American comedian, when at the Shaftesbury Theatre, London, told of an experience he once had with a juvenile deadhead in a town in America. Standing outside the theater a little time before the performance was due to begin he observed a small boy with an anxious, forlorn look on his face and a weedy-looking pup in his arms. Goodwin inquired what was the matter, and was told that the boy wished to sell the dog so as to raise the price of a seat in the gallery. The actor suspected at once a dodge to secure a pass on the "sympathy racket," but allowing himself to be taken in he gave the boy a pass. The dog was deposited in a safe place and the boy was able to watch Goodwin as the Gilded Fool from a good seat in the gallery. Next day Goodwin saw the boy again near the theater, so he asked: "Well, sonny, how did you like the show?" "I'm glad I didn't sell my dog," was the reply. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

DRAMATIC CRITICISM Theodore Dreiser, the novelist, was talking about criticism. "I like pointed criticism," he said, "criticism such as I heard in the lobby of a theater the other night at the end of the play." "The critic was an old gentleman. His criticism, which was for his wife's ears alone, consisted of these words: "'Well, you would come!'" 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

В Москве утверждены адреса домов, попавших под снос! Финальные списки домов, которые снесут до 2032 года уже сформированы. Выбирай свой район из списка, чтобы проверить ваш дом: 👇 ЦАО: @CAO24 Патрики: @patriki Таганский: @taganskiy Якиманка: @yakimanka Басманный: @basmanny Хамовники: @khamovniki Пресненский: @presnenskiy Тверской и Арбат: @tverskoi Мещанский: @meshchanskiy Замоскворечье: @zamoskvoi Красносельский: @krasnoselsky СВАО: @SVAO24 Бибирево: @bibirevo Ярославский: @uarik Отрадное: @otradnoe Бутырский: @butyrskiy Бабушкинский: @babushk Медведково: @medvedkovo Алексеевский: @alexeevskiy Марьина роща: @marinaroshcha Свиблово и Ростокино: @sviblovo Останкино и Марфино: @ostankino Лианозово и Алтуфьево: @lianozov САО: @SAO24 Дегунино: @degunino Сокол и Аэропорт: @sokol Дмитровский: @dmitrovskiy Хорошёво и Беговой: @horoshov Коптево и Войковский: @koptevo Ховрино и Головинский: @hovrino СЗАО: @SZAO24 Митино: @mitino Тушино: @tushino Строгино: @strogino Хорошёво-Мнёвники: @mnevnik Стрешнево и Щукино: @pokrovsk ЗАО: @ZAO24 Раменки: @ramenki Очаково: @ochakovo Тропарёво: @troparev Солнцево: @solntsevo Можайский: @mojaiskiy Дорогомилово и Фили: @fili Кунцево и Крылатское: @kunzevo Ново-Переделкино: @novoperedel Проспект Вернадского: @vernadsk ЮЗАО: @UZAO24 Зюзино: @zuzino Бутово: @butovo Коньково: @konkovo Ясенево: @yasenevo Тёплый Стан: @teplystan Академический: @akadem Черёмушки: @cheremushki ЮАО: @UAO24 Бирюлёво: @birulevo Чертаново: @chertanovo Орехово-Борисово: @orexboris Донской и Даниловский: @donsk Нагатино и Нагорный: @nagarino Царицыно и Москворечье: @tsari Братеево и Зябликово: @brateevo ЮВАО: @UVAO24 Лефортово: @lefor Марьино: @marino Люблино: @lublino Кузьминки: @kuzminki Рязанский: @razanskiy Некрасовка: @nekrasov Южнопортовый: @uznoport Выхино-Жулебино: @vihzhel Текстильщики, Печатники: @teksti ВАО: @VAO24 Гольяново: @galianovo Измайлово: @izmailovo Сокольники: @sokolniki Ивановское: @ivanovskoe Косино и Вешняки: @kosino Богородское: @bogorodskoe Перово и Новогиреево: @perovo Преображенское: @preobrazhensk ТиНАО: @TiNAO24 ЗеЛАО: @ZeLAO24 Вся Москва и область: @moscow

I think I love and reverence all arts equally, only putting my own just above the others.... To me it seems as if when God conceived the world, that was Poetry; He formed it, and that was Sculpture; He colored it, and that was Painting; He peopled it with living beings, and that was the grand, divine, eternal Drama.—Charlotte Cushman. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

Это лучший формат подготовки к выходу в театр Наша дружеская рекомендация - проект "Свидание с оперой" музыковеда Екатерины Муковозчик. У Кати есть авторские лекции в записи по 28 (!) операм.

"Никогда ещё опера не была такой близкой и понятной, не воспринималась так глубоко и полно, как после Катиной лекции"

— говорят те, кто уже испытал на себе этот эффект 💯 А ещё Екатерина проводит роскошные арт-завтраки - Завтраки с оперой - в одном из знаменитых ресторанов Москвы, где вас ждет беседа о высоком искусстве, секреты оперы, теплая атмосфера и эксклюзивные подарки. Кстати, есть и формат ужина с оперой при свечах Даже если вы сложно перевариваете оперу, после знакомства с Катей вы удивитесь, что опера может быть настолько близкой, понятной и захватывающей  🤍 Рекомендуем "Свидание с оперой" — https://t.me/operaclubonline

LARRY—"I like Professor Whatishisname in Shakespeare. He brings things home to you that you never saw before." HARRY—"Huh! I've got a laundryman as good as that." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

The young man in the third row of seats looked bored. He wasn't having a good time. He cared nothing for the Shakespearean drama. "What's the greatest play you ever saw?" the young woman asked, observing his abstraction. Instantly he brightened. "Tinker touching a man out between second and third and getting the ball over to Chance in time to nab the runner to first!" he said. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

DRAMA The average modern play calls in the first act for all our faith, in the second for all our hope, and in the last for all our charity. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

"I am sending you a thousand kisses," he wrote to his fair young wife who was spending her first month away from him. Two days later he received the following telegram: "Kisses received. Landlord refuses to accept any of them on account." Then he woke up and forwarded a check. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

A Lakewood woman was recently reading to her little boy the story of a young lad whose father was taken ill and died, after which he set himself diligently to work to support himself and his mother. When she had finished her story she said: "Dear Billy, if your papa were to die, would you work to support your dear mamma?" "Naw!" said Billy unexpectedly. "But why not?" "Ain't we got a good house to live in?" "Yes, dearie, but we can't eat the house, you know." "Ain't there a lot o' stuff in the pantry?" "Yes, but that won't last forever." "It'll last till you git another husband, won't it? You're a pretty good looker, ma!" Mamma gave up right there. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

DOMESTIC FINANCE "Talk about Napoleon! That fellow Wombat is something of a strategist himself." "As to how?" "Got his salary raised six months ago, and his wife hasn't found it out yet."—Washington Herald. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы