Story. Рассказы на английском

They were at dinner and the dainties were on the table. "Will you take tart or pudding?" asked Papa of Tommy. "Tart," said Tommy promptly. His father sighed as he recalled the many lessons on manners he had given the boy. "Tart, what?" he queried kindly. But Tommy's eyes were glued on the pastry. "Tart, what?" asked the father again, sharply this time. "Tart, first," answered Tommy triumphantly. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

A little girl on the train to Pittsburgh was chewing gum. Not only that, but she insisted on pulling it out in long strings and letting it fall back into her mouth again. "Mabel!" said her mother in a horrified whisper. "Mabel, don't do that. Chew your gum like a little lady." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

Скучал, пьянствовал, ел шоколад. Пётр Чайковский 5 февраля, 1889 г. Был целый день невоздержан: жрал рахат-лукум, мороженое и всякую дрянь. Лев Толстой 16 июня, 1852 г. Свободы хочется и денег. Сидеть бы на палубе, трескать вино и беседовать о литературе, а вечером дамы. Антон Чехов 28 июля, 1893 г. 📖 Дневниками и мыслями известных личностей теперь можно наслаждаться в одном месте.    Канал "Жизнь в дневниках" – это собрание лучших мыслей и дневниковых записей великих писателей, художников, режиссёров и композиторов. Подписывайтесь, чтобы восхищаться интересными личностями: t.me/dnevкnikitg

ETIQUET A Boston girl the other day said to a southern friend who was visiting her, as two men rose in a car to give them seats: "Oh, I wish they would not do it." "Why not? I think it is very nice of them," said her friend, settling herself comfortably. "Yes, but one can't thank them, you know, and it is so awkward." "Can't thank them! Why not?" "Why, you would not speak to a strange man, would you?" said the Boston maiden, to the astonishment of her southern friend. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

ESCAPES There was once a chap who went skating too early and all of a sudden that afternoon loud cries for help began to echo among the bleak hills that surrounded the skating pond. A farmer, cobbling his boots before his kitchen fire heard the shouts and yells, and ran to the pond at break-neck speed. He saw a large black hole in the ice, and a pale young fellow stood with chattering teeth shoulder-deep in the cold water. The farmer laid a board on the thin ice and crawled out on it to the edge of the hole. Then, extending his hand, he said: "Here, come over this way, and I'll lift you out." "No, I can't swim," was the impatient reply. "Throw a rope to me. Hurry up. It's cold in here." "I ain't got no rope," said the farmer; and he added angrily. "What if you can't swim you can wade, I guess! The water's only up to your shoulders." "Up to my shoulders?" said the young fellow. "It's eight feet deep if it's an inch. I'm standing on the blasted fat man who broke the ice!" 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

🥀Айвазовский, Левитан, Шишкин, Куинджи... Работами лучших пейзажистов теперь можно наслаждаться на канале "Пейзаж на холсте"🪻 10 минут – и вы будете знать об искусстве больше любого экскурсовода. Подписывайтесь: t.me/art_gallery

EQUALITY As one of the White Star steamships came up New York harbor the other day, a grimy coal barge floated immediately in front of her. "Clear out of the way with that old mud scow!" shouted an officer on the bridge. A round, sun-browned face appeared over the cabin hatchway. "Are ye the captain of that vessel?" "No," answered the officer. "Then spake to yer equals. I'm the captain o' this!" came from the barge. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

⚡️ Известные личности теперь в Telegram! 😄 Карл Густав Юнг — мысли одного из самых цитируемых психологов. 🫠 Фаина Раневская — истории из жизни великой актрисы, иронические и саркастические мысли на все случаи жизни. 🥲 Фридрих Ницше — мысли самого цитируемого философа. 😂 Эрих Мария Ремарк — цитаты из произведений и писем великого писателя. 🥰 Артур Шопенгауэр — мысли одного из самых цитируемых философов. 🙂 Андрей Тарковский — канал о жизни и творчестве великого режиссёра. Присоединяйтесь!

"See that man over there. He is a bombastic mutt, a windjammer nonentity, a false alarm, and an encumberer of the earth!" "Would you mind writing all that down for me?" "Why in the world—" "He's my husband, and I should like to use it on him some time." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

EPITHETS John Fiske, the historian, was once interrupted by his wife, who complained that their son had been very disrespectful to some neighbors. Mr. Fiske called the youngster into his study. "My boy, is it true that you called Mrs. Jones a fool?" The boy hung his head. "Yes, father." "And did you call Mr. Jones a worse fool?" "Yes, father." Mr. Fiske frowned and pondered for a minute. Then he said: "Well, my son, that is just about the distinction I should make." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

A bereaved husband feeling his loss very keenly found it desirable to divert his mind by traveling abroad. Before his departure, however, he left orders for a tombstone with the inscription: "The light of my life has gone out." Travel brought unexpected and speedy relief, and before the time for his return he had taken another wife. It was then that he remembered the inscription, and thinking it would not be pleasing to his new wife, he wrote to the stone-cutter, asking that he exercise his ingenuity in adapting it to the new conditions. After his return he took his new wife to see the tombstone and found that the inscription had been made to read: "The light of my life has gone out, But I have struck another match." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

A man wished to have something original on his wife's headstone and hit upon, "Lord, she was Thine." He had his own ideas of the size of the letters and the space between words, and gave instructions to the stonemason. The latter carried them out all right, except that he could not get in the "E" in Thine. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

The widower had just taken his fourth wife and was showing her around the village. Among the places visited was the churchyard, and the bride paused before a very elaborate tombstone that had been erected by the bridegroom. Being a little nearsighted she asked him to read the inscription, and in reverent tones he read: "Here lies Susan, beloved wife of John Smith; also Jane, beloved wife of John Smith; also Mary, beloved wife of John Smith—" He paused abruptly, and the bride, leaning forward to see the bottom line, read, to her horror: "Be Ye Also Ready." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

EPITAPHS LITTLE CLARENCE—"Pa!" HIS FATHER—"Well, my son?" LITTLE CLARENCE—"I took a walk through the cemetery to-day and read the inscriptions on the tombstones." HIS FATHER—"And what were your thoughts after you had done so?" LITTLE CLARENCE—"Why, pa, I wondered where all the wicked people were buried."—Judge. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

ENTHUSIASM Theodore Watts, says Charles Rowley in his book "Fifty Years of Work Without Wages," tells a good story against himself. A nature enthusiast, he was climbing Snowdon, and overtook an old gypsy woman. He began to dilate upon the sublimity of the scenery, in somewhat gushing phrases. The woman paid no attention to him. Provoked by her irresponsiveness, he said, "You don't seem to care for this magnificent scenery?" She took the pipe from her mouth and delivered this settler: "I enjies it; I don't jabber." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

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Nat Goodwill was at the club with an English friend and became the center of an appreciative group. A cigar man offered the comedian a cigar, saying that it was a new production. "With each cigar, you understand," the promoter said, "I will give a coupon, and when you have smoked three thousand of them you may bring the coupons to me and exchange them for a grand piano." Nat sniffed the cigar, pinched it gently, and then replied: "If I smoked three thousand of these cigars I think I would need a harp instead of a grand piano." There was a burst of laughter in which the Englishman did not join, but presently he exploded with merriment. "I see the point" he exclaimed. "Being an actor, you have to travel around the country a great deal and a harp would be so much more convenient to carry." 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

ENGLISHMEN He who laughs last is an Englishman. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы

Language is the expression of ideas, and if the people of one country cannot preserve an identity of ideas, they cannot retain an identity of language.—Noah Webster. Ной Уэбстер (1758-1843) был американским лексикографом, реформатором языка и политическим писателем. Он наиболее известен своим "Американским справочником по правописанию" (1783) и "Американским словарём английского языка" (1828). Уэбстер сыграл важную роль в стандартизации американского английского языка. Ной Уэбстер был выдающейся фигурой в истории американского языка и образования. Его работа по созданию словарей и учебников оказала огромное влияние на развитие американского английского языка, способствуя его отличию от британского английского. Он стремился создать отдельную американскую идентичность, в том числе и в языке. 🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы