Human Nature

How to See More Clearly Generally, binoculars come in handy. They provide focus and clarity to what would otherwise remain a blurry blob of color. They give us insight into a world that is completely foreign to us. And yet, using binoculars completely blinds us to what is actually physically close to us and within our reach. When you use binoculars, you can’t have it both ways: seeing the forest (big picture) and the trees (finer details) at the same time. In general, seeing both is something that is ridiculously hard to accomplish. Humans don’t naturally think or see objectively. Once we reach this realization, we can better act toward preventing it. But, we need to perceive the world for what it actually is, something that even the most discerning of us struggle with from day to day. We need to see through the distractions and false realities of everyday existence so we can get as close to the core truth as you possibly can. You have to beat your brain’s tendency to jump to conclusions and fill in the blanks into submission, as well as deal with the fact that when you focus your attentions in one place, something else will inevitably be overlooked. Even if we’re extremely attentive, we can’t always rely on what we see and hear to give us a complete picture of what is happening. Sometimes we don’t get complete information—there’s always something we can’t see or hear that might be driving events. Sometimes we rely on the stories of other people who might have a hidden agenda for explaining events the way they do. And we also have our own inherent biases and beliefs that may color what we see to the point where our judgment becomes inaccurate or faulty. When it comes to information, less is not more. It can be easy to feel overburdened and overwhelmed by facts, to say nothing of others’ interpretations and explanations of all those facts. But there really is no substitute for having as much intelligence and knowledge as you can gather. This overall mindset encourages you to obtain as much information about a situation or topic in a variety of different backgrounds, environments, and conditions as you possibly can. Having all this information prevents you from making snap judgments, blind assumptions, and inaccurate projections—all of which you need to avoid to make better decisions. #HumanNature ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

Being Enough The brick wall that most people hit on their way to self-acceptance is the misconception that it will cause laziness and complacency. They think that self-acceptance means believing you are OK just as you are, therefore you will have no motivation for improvement, work, achievement or change. In reality, the research shows us that those who develop self-acceptance and learn to be self-compassionate are less likely to fear failure, more likely to persevere and try again when they do fail and generally have more self-confidence. Self-acceptance and the compassion we show ourselves when we are accepting of the self is not the same as becoming indifferent to the world and passively resigning yourself to accept defeat when things are tough. Having unconditional love for yourself means doing the opposite sometimes. It can mean taking the more difficult road because it is in your best interests. It is refusing to kick yourself while you are down or indulging in self-loathing, and instead using every ounce of strength to pull yourself back up after a fall. The difference is that when you strive, you do so from a place of love and contentment rather than striving from a place of fear and scarcity. If we don’t do the work to develop self-acceptance, we set ourselves up to live a life in which we may need constant reassurance, get trapped in jobs we hate or relationships that cause us harm, or find ourselves living with resentment. #HumanNature ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

Greed and the Business World Greed is closely related to envy, and the two are usually found together. We do not mean the form of greed that expresses itself in the hoarding of money. There is another, more general form that expresses itself chiefly in a reluctance to give pleasure to other people. Such people are avaricious in their attitude towards society and towards every other individual. Avaricious people build a wall about themselves to keep their wretched treasures safe. Not only is there a close relationship between greed and envy, but we can also see a connection with ambition and vanity. It is not an overstatement to say that all these character traits are often present at the same time. It does not take much psychological insight, therefore, when we have discovered one of these traits, to declare that the others may be present as well. Almost everyone in today’s civilization shows traces, at least, of greed. The best the average person does is to veil it, or hide it behind an exaggerated generosity, which amounts to nothing more than the giving of alms, an attempt, through gestures of generosity, to bolster one’s self-esteem at the expense of others. Under some circumstances it would appear that avarice can actually be a valuable quality. We can, for example, be avaricious of, and thus economical with, our time or labour, and in the process actually do something useful. There is a definite trend today to push ‘time-management’ into the foreground, demanding that we should all be economical with our time and labour. This sounds very good in theory, but wherever we see this idea applied in practice, we invariably find that some individual goal of superiority and power is being served. This theory is frequently misused, and ‘time-management’ is directed towards shifting the real burden of work onto the shoulders of others. This activity, like all activity, can be judged only by the standard of its usefulness to society. It is a feature of the age of technology that human beings are treated like machines and are expected to follow laws of life much as machines obey the laws of physics. In the latter case such laws are universally applicable; but in the case of human beings they lead eventually to isolation, loneliness and the destruction of human relationships. It is therefore better for everyone if we adjust our lives so that we would rather give than save. If we all try to live by this rule, and keep the common weal in mind, we cannot go far wrong. In this connection, let us look more closely at business life. People in the business world have little concern for the welfare of competitors, or much interest in the social feeling that we consider so essential. Some business practices and enterprises are actually based on the principle that the advantage of one businessperson can result only from the disadvantage of another. As a rule there is no punishment for such behaviour even though there is a conscious malicious intention. Everyday business practices that express greed and lack social feeling poison society as a whole. Some solution must be found, so that the co-operation of every individual towards the common weal will be made easier instead of more difficult. As a matter of fact the human spirit has been at work attempting to create a better situation for its own protection. Psychology must co-operate and set about investigating these changes in order to understand not only business relationships themselves, but also the mental processes involved. Only in this way can we know what can best be done for the individual and for society. #HumanNature ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

Letting Go of the Old Person People want to get rid of their flaws and improve themselves, but at the same time they aren’t willing to let go of their unfavorable behaviors and habits. They’re slaves to their weaknesses, often equating them with who they are. An overweight person will never change unless they stop thinking of themselves as an overweight person. If being obese is something that you use as your personal definition and (what’s even worse) you feel fine referring to yourself in such a way, how do you expect to become a new person? A person who defines themselves as a video gamer and wears it as a badge of honor will be unlikely to adopt new, more productive behaviors until they become willing to let go of their old identity of a gamer. True, there’s nothing inherently wrong in being a gamer. However, if it stands in the way of accomplishing your goals, rethink whether it’s an identity that serves you or if perhaps it’s time to give it up so you can start doing other things that are more consistent with a new you. Who’s the old you and who’s the new you? How often do you engage in the behaviors of the old you and how often do you manifest the traits of the new you? Shift the balance toward the new you and one by one, eradicate the undesirable old behaviors. You must be willing to let go of the old person in order to become the new person. You must be willing to stop doing certain things in order to start doing the things that are consistent with the new you #HumanNature ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

Sexuality and the Gay Gene Are love and sex the same thing? Undoubtedly they overlap in many cases and are often intertwined. But a recent social theory proposes that they have two separate biological bases, which can sometimes result in confusion. This theory was put forward based on studies of female sexuality through time. The basic point is that humans form relationships based on two separate systems, which can reinforce each other or be in conflict. One of these is the attachment system. This is an urge to connect and form close social bonds with a few individuals. The other system is the sex drive, based on the principles of mating. Evolution probably shaped the sex drive to focus on the opposite gender (because only heterosexual sex can create children). The attachment drive, in contrast, is probably gender neutral. Most children (boys and girls) form their first attachment to their mother, and later develop close friendships or attachments to other people, often primarily of their own gender. If attachment and sexuality remained completely separate, there might be no problem, but in reality human beings mix intimacy with sex. The natural sex drive might dictate an initial preference for opposite-gender sex partners, but the attachment drive can promote intimacy between people of the same gender, and sometimes this can result in sexual attraction too. If there is a “gay gene,” love is not on it. Love comes from the attachment drive, and that drive is independent of gender. You can love both your mother and your father, both your son and your daughter, both your best male and best female friend. A gay gene (if it exists, which is controversial) would stipulate sexual orientation, so it might dictate which gender you would want to have sex with, but it would not limit your ability to experience love and intimacy with either gender. Attachment can lead to sexual desire, and sexual intimacy can promote attachment, so the two are not entirely independent—which is why sometimes people find themselves attracted to someone of the “wrong” gender, however they have defined it. #HumanNature ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

The Key to Building Confidence Confidence is not the same as being comfortable. One of the biggest misconceptions about becoming self-confident is that it means living fearlessly. The key to building confidence is quite the opposite. It means we are willing to let fear be present as we do the things that matter to us. When we establish some self-confidence in something, it feels good. We want to stay there and hold on to it. But if we only go where we feel confident, then confidence never expands beyond that. If we only do the things we know we can do well, fear of the new and unknown tends to grow. Building confidence inevitably demands that we make friends with vulnerability because it is the only way to be without confidence for a while. But the only way confidence can grow is when we are willing to be without it. When we can step into fear and sit with the unknown, it is the courage of doing so that builds confidence from the ground up. Courage comes first, confidence comes second. This doesn’t mean that we have to dive in at the emotional deep end and risk overwhelming ourselves. But it does mean that we must recognize how fear helps us to perform at our best and that we need to change our relationship with that fear so that we no longer need to eliminate it before we try. We learn to take fear with us. Note down what aspects of your life might be in the comfort zone, what tasks feel challenging but manageable and which things you would put in the panic zone. Every time you step into the stretch zone, you are doing the work of building your confidence by flexing your courage. When you are trying to build self-confidence, it is a process of building self-acceptance, self-compassion and learning the value in vulnerability and fear. It is often a balancing act that doesn’t always feel easy. Build up your capacity to both lean into effort and tolerate the discomfort, then pull back and replenish. #HumanNature ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

Understanding You Living the life you want to live in the face of criticism means getting clear on: The opinions that truly matter to you and why. Whose opinions matter most to you? Saying ‘I don’t care what anyone thinks is rarely true and hides a world of insecurities. It stops us from creating meaningful connections with others because it closes off any avenue of communication in which both voices matter. But the list of whose opinions truly matter needs to be small. It is also worth pointing out that acknowledging who matters does not mean it is your responsibility to please them. It just means you are willing to listen to their feedback, even when it is not praise, because you know it is likely to be honest and in your best interests, therefore most likely to be helpful. Why you do what you do. The one person you most need the approval of is you. When the way we are living is out of line with our values and what matters most, life stops feeling meaningful or satisfying. Understanding the kind of person you want to be and how you want to live your life, how you want to contribute to the world, is the road you want to stay close to. When you know exactly who you are and who you want to be, it is much easier to choose which criticisms to take on board and which ones to let go. Where those familiar critical voices are really coming from and whether they are warranted and helpful or detrimental to our wellbeing. When there is someone in your life who is predictably critical, you hear their voice before they even say anything. Over time we internalize their constant criticism so that it becomes the way we speak to ourselves. So we may be highly self-critical because we have learned to be. Recognizing that we learned that way of speaking to ourselves helps us to acknowledge that we can re-learn a new internal dialogue that serves us better. #HumanNature ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

PEOPLE-PLEASING People-pleasing is more than just being nice to people. Anyone would recommend being nice to people. But people-pleasing is a pattern of behaviour in which you consistently put all others before yourself even to the detriment of your own health and wellbeing. It can leave us feeling unable to express our needs, likes and dislikes, and unable to hold boundaries or even keep ourselves safe. We say yes, when actually we want and need to say no. We feel resentful of being taken advantage of, but unable to change it by asking for anything different. And the fear of disapproval never disappears because there is always the possibility of putting a foot wrong, making a wrong choice and displeasing someone – even if that person is someone we don’t like or spend time with. While it is in us all to care about the approval of our peers, people-pleasing takes it much further. If we grow up in an environment in which it is not safe to disagree or express difference, if disapproval is expressed with rage or contempt, then as children we learn how to survive that environment. Keeping other people happy becomes a survival skill that we hone and perfect throughout childhood. It is only later, as adults, that those behaviour patterns become detrimental to our relationships. We second-guess every move we make, always tentatively trying to work out what others are expecting of us. It may even prevent us from making new connections as we hold back on interactions when there is no guarantee that the other person likes us back. Living a life of people-pleasing is further complicated by the fact that other people don’t always voice their disapproval with criticism. We can fear and feel disapproval even when the other person never says a word. When we don’t have that information, our mind starts to fill in the blanks for us. We are each at the centre of our own spotlight of attention and we tend to imagine that others are focused on us too, when in reality, everyone’s spotlights are usually on themselves. So we can often make the assumption that others are judging us negatively or disapproving when they may not be thinking about us at all. So, if we have this brain that is set up to care a great deal what everyone else is thinking, or maybe we notice a tendency towards people-pleasing patterns, how do we live alongside that? How do we ensure that we can have those meaningful relationships but not become trapped by constant worries about disapproval and judgement? And how can we pick ourselves back up when disapproval from someone else stops us from living in line with what matters to us? #HumanNature ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

BORN TO BE FAIR Fairness starts with reciprocity. Two norms influence whether people contribute to the common good i.e equity and equality. Equity means that each person receives benefits in proportion to what he or she has contributed (e.g., the person who does the most work gets the highest pay). Equality means that everyone gets the same amount. Both kinds of fairness are used and understood much more widely by humans than by any other animal. People are designed by nature (so to speak) to belong to a system based on fairness and social exchange. As one sign of the importance of fairness to human nature, the feeling that one has no value to others—that you are a taker rather than a giver—is a major cause of depression. To be sure, there are plenty of obnoxious people who take more than they give, but most of them don’t see themselves that way. People who do see themselves as taking more than they give may become depressed. To avoid depression, people may seek to contribute their fair share. Some suicides may reflect the same concern with being fair and reciprocal. Human beings differ from most other animals in that they commit suicide. One reason some people commit suicide is that they think they are a burden on other people - that others do things for them that they cannot reciprocate, so the others would be better off if they were dead. Of course, people are not better off when someone commits suicide. Suicide has numerous negative effects on those left behind. Not only do the survivors miss the dead person, they may even blame themselves for the suicide. The concern with fairness makes people feel bad when they don’t contribute their fair share, but it can also affect people who think that their good performance makes others feel bad. When we outperform others, we may have mixed emotions. On the one hand, we may feel a sense of pride and pleasure because we have surpassed the competition. On the other hand, we may feel fear and anxiety because those we have outperformed might reject us or retaliate. Interpersonal concern about the consequences of outperforming others has been called sensitivity about being the target of a threatening upward comparison. Outperformers often become distressed when they believe that others are envious that they did not perform as well. People do feel guilty when they are overbenefited. In lab studies, people feel guilty if they receive a larger reward than others for performing the same amount or same quality of work. Getting less than your fair share provokes anger and resentment, but getting more than your fair share produces guilt The term survivor guilt was coined to refer to the observation that some people felt bad for having lived through terrible experiences in which many others died, such as the atomic bombing of Hiro-shima, Japan, or the death camps in Nazi-occupied Europe. People especially felt guilty about family members and other relationship partners who died while they survived. In business, when corporations are forced to fire many employees as part of downsizing, the ones who keep their jobs often feel guilty toward friends and colleagues who have lost theirs.All these findings suggest that the human psyche has a deep sensitivity to unfairness, and that people (unlike almost any other animals) feel bad even if the unfairness is in their favor. #HumanNature ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

Anecdotes for You Drink where the horses drink, the horse will never drink bad water. Put your bed where the cat sleeps, it loves calm. Whatever fruit the worm has touched but not penetrated, it is always looking for the ripe fruit. And plant your tree where the mole digs, for that is fertile land. Build your house where the snake sits to warm itself, for that is the stable ground that does not collapse. Dig to find the water where the birds hide from the heat. Wherever the birds stand, the water hides. And go to sleep and wake up at the same time with the birds - that's the quest for success. Eat more vegetables- You will have strong legs and a resistant heart like jungle animals. Swim whenever you find time and you will feel like you are on land like fish in water. Look at the sky as much as possible and your thoughts will become bright and clear. Be calm and silent, and peace will come to your heart, and your soul will be at peace #Wisdom ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

The Hostile Attitude Some children exhibit a hostile attitude at a very early age. They interpret weaning and the natural separation from parents as hostile actions. Other children must deal with a parent who likes to punish and inflict hurt. In both cases, the child looks out on a world that seems fraught with hostility, and their answer is to seek to control it by becoming the source of the hostility themselves. At least then it is no longer so random and sudden. As they get older, they become adept at stimulating anger and frustration in others, which justifies their original attitude—“See, people are against me, I am disliked, and for no apparent reason.” People with this attitude have many subtle tricks up their sleeve for provoking the hostility they secretly want to feel directed at them—withdrawing their cooperation on a project at just the wrong moment, constantly being late, doing a poor job, deliberately making an unfavorable first impression. But they never see themselves as playing any kind of role in instigating the reaction. You can recognize them by how they are easily moved to anger in situations. Their life, as they describe it, is full of battles, betrayals, persecutions, but seemingly not originating from them. In essence, they are projecting their own hostile feelings onto other people and are primed to read them in almost any apparently innocent action. Their goal in life is to feel persecuted and to desire some form of revenge. Such types generally have career problems, as their anger and hostility frequently flare up. This gives them something else to complain about and a basis on which to blame the world for being against them. If you notice signs of this attitude in yourself, such self-awareness is a major step toward being able to get rid of it. You can also try a simple experiment: Approach people you are meeting for the first time, or only know peripherally, with various positive thoughts—“I like them,” “They seem smart,” et cetera. None of this is verbalized, but you do your best to feel such emotions. If they respond with something hostile or defensive, then perhaps the world is truly against you. More than likely you will not see anything that could be remotely construed as negative. In fact, you will see the opposite. Clearly, then, the source of any hostile response is you. In dealing with the extremes of this type, struggle as best you can to not respond with the antagonism they expect. Maintain your neutrality. This will confound them and temporarily put a stop to the game they are playing. They feed off your hostility, so do not give them fuel. #CharacterTraits ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

OPTIMISM The planning fallacy is only one of the manifestations of a pervasive optimistic bias. Most of us view the world as more benign than it really is, our own attributes as more favorable than they truly are, and the goals we adopt as more achievable than they are likely to be. We also tend to exaggerate our ability to forecast the future, which fosters optimistic overconfidence. In terms of its consequences for decisions, the optimistic bias may well be the most significant of the cognitive biases. Because optimistic bias can be both a blessing and a risk, you should be both happy and wary if you are temperamentally optimistic. Optimism is normal, but some fortunate people are more optimistic than the rest of us. If you are genetically endowed with an optimistic bias, you hardly need to be told that you are a lucky person—you already feel fortunate. An optimistic attitude is largely inherited, and it is part of a general disposition for well-being, which may also include a preference for seeing the bright side of everything. If you were allowed one wish for your child, seriously consider wishing him or her optimism. Optimists are normally cheerful and happy, and therefore popular; they are resilient in adapting to failures and hardships, their chances of clinical depression are reduced, their immune system is stronger, they take better care of their health, they feel healthier than others and are in fact likely to live longer. Of course, the blessings of optimism are offered only to individuals who are only mildly biased and who are able to “accentuate the positive” without losing track of reality. #HumanNature ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

Understanding Laughter 😂 I think that when a person laughs, in the majority of cases he becomes repulsive to look at. Most often something banal is revealed in people’s laughter, something as if humiliating for the laugher, though the laughing one almost always knows nothing of the impression he makes. Just as he doesn’t know, as nobody generally knows, what kind of face he has when he’s asleep. Some sleepers have intelligent faces even in sleep, while other faces, even intelligent ones, become very stupid in sleep and therefore ridiculous. I don’t know what makes that happen; I only want to say that a laughing man, like a sleeping one, most often knows nothing about his face. A great many people don’t know how to laugh at all. However, there’s nothing to know here: it’s a gift, and it can’t be fabricated. It can only be fabricated by re-educating oneself, developing oneself for the better, and overcoming the bad instincts of one’s character; then the laughter of such a person might quite possibly change for the better. A man can give himself away completely by his laughter, so that you suddenly learn all his innermost secrets. Even indisputably intelligent laughter is sometimes repulsive. Laughter calls first of all for sincerity, but where is there any sincerity in people? Laughter calls for lack of spite, but people most often laugh spitefully. Sincere and unspiteful laughter is mirth, but where is there any mirth in our time, and do people know how to be mirthful? (About mirth in our time—that was Versilov’s observation, and I remembered it.) A man’s mirth is a feature that gives away the whole man, from head to foot. Someone’s character won’t be cracked for a long time, then the man bursts out laughing somehow quite sincerely, and his whole character suddenly opens up as if on the flat of your hand. Only a man of the loftiest and happiest development knows how to be mirthful infectiously, that is, irresistibly and goodheartedly. I’m not speaking of his mental development, but of his character, of the whole man. And so, if you want to discern a man and know his soul, you must look, not at how he keeps silent, or how he speaks, or how he weeps, or even how he is stirred by the noblest ideas, but you had better look at him when he laughs. If a man has a good laugh, it means he’s a good man. Note at the same time all the nuances: for instance, a man’s laughter must in no case seem stupid to you, however merry and simplehearted it may be. The moment you notice the slightest trace of stupidity in someone’s laughter, it undoubtedly means that the man is of limited intelligence, though he may do nothing but pour out ideas. Or if his laughter isn’t stupid, but the man himself, when he laughs, for some reason suddenly seems ridiculous to you, even just slightly—know, then, that the man has no real sense of dignity, not fully in any case. Or, finally, if his laughter is infectious, but for some reason still seems banal to you, know, then, that the man’s nature is on the banal side as well, and all the noble and lofty that you noticed in him before is either deliberately affected or unconsciously borrowed, and later on the man is certain to change for the worse, to take up what’s “useful” and throw his noble ideas away without regret, as the errors and infatuations of youth. Understand only that laughter is the surest test of a soul. Look at a child: only children know how to laugh perfectly—that’s what makes them seductive. A crying child is repulsive to me, but a laughing and merry child is a ray from paradise, a revelation from the future, when man will finally become as pure and simplehearted as a child. #Wisdom #Reflect #Ponder #Philosophy Adopted from The Adolescent by Fyodor Dostoevsky ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

Breaking your Upper Limit Most people hold themselves back from real happiness. Most people don’t want to be happy, which is why they aren’t. They just don’t realize this is the case. People are programmed to chase their foremost desire at almost any cost. (Imagine the adrenaline-fueled superhuman powers people develop in life-or-death emergencies.) It’s just a matter of what that foremost desire is. Often enough, it’s comfort. Or familiarity. There are many reasons people thwart the feeling of happiness, but a lot of them have to do with assuming it means giving up on achieving more. Nobody wants to believe happiness is a choice, because that puts responsibility in their hands. It’s the same reason people self-pity: to delay action, to make an outcry to the universe, as though the more they state how bad things are, the more likely it is that someone else will change them. Happiness is not a rush of positive emotion elicited by random events that affirm the way you think something should go. Not sustainable happiness, anyway. The real stuff is the product of an intentional, mindful, daily practice, and it begins with choosing to commit to it. Everybody has a happiness tolerance—an upper limit. It is the capacity for which we allow ourselves to feel good. Some psychologists call it the “baseline,” the amount of happiness we “naturally” feel, and eventually revert back to, even if certain events or circumstances shift us temporarily. The reason we don’t allow those shifts to become baselines is because of the upper limit—as soon as our circumstances extend beyond the amount of happiness we’re accustomed to and comfortable feeling, we unconsciously begin to self-sabotage. We are programmed to seek what we’ve known. So even though we think we’re after happiness, we’re actually trying to find whatever we’re most accustomed to, and we project that on whatever actually exists, over and over again. #HumanNature ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

The Parts of you that Aren’t “I” 2/2 Knowing who you are is grounding; it gives you a sense of trajectory. But when we assign words and meanings to what we know we like and value and want, we create attachments. We then strive to keep things within the parameters of which we’ve already accepted. Out of that, we create failure. We create suffering over self. We begin to believe that a static idea can represent a dynamic, evolving being. The ways we don’t live up to the ideas in our minds become our greatest grievances. Sometimes we get attached to the structures because we don’t like the contents. We’re more invested in how we’re perceived than who we are, in the idea of what the title means than the day-to-day work of the job, in the “do you promise to love me forever?” than the actual day-to-day loving. This is to say: We’re more comforted by ideas of what things are as opposed to what they really are. We like to think of ourselves as bodies because that doesn’t leave us with the open-ended “what else.” But what if the “what else” isn’t the end-thought, but the beginning? What if awareness of it frees us of so many things, quells so many thoughts, balms so many aches? What if healing yourself is not fixing an attitude, not changing an opinion, not altering an aesthetic, but shifting a presence, an awareness, an energy? In this case, fixing the parts does not heal the whole. The only thing that changes you and your life is the awareness of the parts that are not “I.” It is the whole, it is where you end up, it is where you began, it is the one thing, the only thing, that shifts, and raises, and facilitates the spark of awareness that made you question the elements of its vessel. I’m not really asking you to consider the theories. I’m just asking whether or not you feel it. #HumanNature ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

The Parts of you that Aren’t “I” 1/2 Let’s pretend for a moment that we pulled apart all of your organs and laid them on a table. Feel your heartbeat; imagine it outside of you. You would not look at your heart and think: “That is me.” You think: “That is my heart.” Now feel your breath. Feel it in tandem with your heartbeat, neither of which you are often conscious of, both of which are in constant motion. You do not say, “I am my breath.” You say: “I am breathing.” Think about your liver. And your kidneys. Think about your bones and your blood. Think about your legs and your fingers and your hair and your brain. You see them objectively. They’re just parts. They’re ultimately (mostly) removable and replaceable and they’re all entirely temporary. You don’t think of them and see “I.” You think of them and you see things. If you pulled them apart, they’d just be compilations of cells. You don’t see them and think: “That’s me!” You think: “Those are mine.” Why is it any different when we compile and attach them? There is a concentration of energy, of heavy presentness, in your chest and throat and maybe a little in your head. It is centered. You don’t feel yourself in your legs. You don’t have emotions in your arms. It’s at the core. In that same space coexist the organs we don’t identify with and the energy we do. If we removed the latter, what would be left? What would be there? What exists when you don’t? Have you ever sat in that? Have you ever sat with that? Have you ever felt each part of your body and realized the parts are not “I?” Have you ever felt the presentness that is somehow livened when attached? Have you ever identified the difference between what you call yours and what you call yourself?

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Nutrition Mental health and physical health are weaves in the same basket. If one moves, the other moves. In recent years the science has made strides in demonstrating this. How you feed your brain influences how you feel. When we understand that our mood is influenced by several factors, it makes good sense to tackle that from all sides. With just a moment of reflection, most of us could easily come up with a few ways in which we could nourish our body better. The research being done across the world suggests there is not one, strict diet that protects your mental health. The things good diets all tend to have in common are the inclusion of whole, unprocessed food, healthy fats and wholegrains. But the overarching idea is that making good nutrition a priority (and educating yourself about what that looks like if you need to) is a great idea for tackling low mood and improving your mental health. Making huge life transformations overnight is less helpful if you cannot sustain them. Instead, it is helpful to ask ourselves on a regular basis, ‘What is one small change I could put in place today that would improve my nutritional intake?’ Then repeat this every day. #HumanNature ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature

Don't Push them Away Imagine you are at the beach. You walk into the sea up to your chest. The waves need to pass over you to get to the shore. If you try to hold the waves back and prevent them reaching the shore, you learn how powerful those waves are. They push you back and you quickly get engulfed and overwhelmed. But you don’t have to tumble and struggle against the waves. Those waves are coming no matter what. When you accept that, you can focus on keeping your head above the water as it passes. You still feel the effects. Might even get lifted off your feet for a moment. But you move with the water and brace yourself ready to land back on your feet. Dealing with emotion is much the same as standing in the waves. When we try to stop feelings in their tracks, we easily get knocked off our feet and find ourselves in trouble, struggling to catch a breath and work out which way is up. When we allow the emotion to wash over us, it rises, peaks and descends, taking its natural course. Emotions are real and valid, but they are not facts. They are a guess. A perspective that we try on for size. An emotion is the brain’s attempt to make sense of the world so that you can meet your needs and survive. Given that what you feel is not a factual statement, neither are thoughts. Practice being able to step back from thoughts and feelings and see them for what they are – just one possible perspective. Seeing emotions for what they are is key to being able to process them in a healthy way. You are not your feelings and your feelings are not who you are. The sensation of an emotion is an experience that moves through you. Each emotion can offer you information, but not necessarily the whole story. If there is something emotions are pretty useful for, it’s telling you what you need. When we allow ourselves to feel emotion without blocking it out or pushing it away, we can turn towards it with curiosity, and learn. Discovering what we need is even more valuable if we then use that information to do what is necessary and meet those needs. I think it is always useful to start with the physical. No amount of therapy or psychological skills is going to overturn the destructive impact of poor sleep or diet and lack of physical activity. Once we start taking care of the body we live in, we are already well on the way to being able to work on the rest. #HumanNature ♡ ㅤ   ⎙ㅤ  ⌲ 🔕💪 ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˢᵃᵛᵉ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ ᵏⁱⁿᵈˡʸ ᵘⁿᵐᵘᵗᵉ ᶜʰᵃⁿⁿᵉˡ Join now👇👇👇 @Laws_of_Human_Nature