The Meme Times

Hong Kong goes full blockchain banker 💼🌐 “Digitally native” bonds - now in USD, EUR, HKD & CNH. Issued via Ethereum or Goldman’s private chains. Crypto bros say: “Finally, TradFi gets it.” TradFi says: “Please stop calling us that.” 😂

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Spanish crypto influencer goes from pump to prison 🇪🇸🚔 Álvaro Romillo promised 20% returns, delivered handcuffs. Police found €29M in Singapore. Moral: when your “club” is called Madeira Invest - maybe it’s not the best investment. 🥴

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Dorsey’s coffee costs Bitcoin now ☕️⚡️ Square now lets 4M merchants take BTC payments - no fees till 2027. So yes, you can pay for your latte and feel like Satoshi. +Bonus: live map of Bitcoin-friendly shops - aka the “Real World Crypto Mode.” 🌍💳

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Brazil just made stablecoins... foreign exchange?! 🇧🇷💸 New rules say using USDT = FX operation. Translation: “Congrats, you’re now a bank.” 😂 Crypto firms will need docs, AML checks, and a saint’s patience. Brazil loves crypto… just not that much.

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Biotech meets crypto, what could go wrong? 💉💰 Propanc Biopharma just scored $100M to build a crypto treasury while curing cancer. Investors? Not impressed - shares down 10%. Crypto + biotech = moonshot squared, but mostly just volatile squared. 🧪📉

SOL ETFs are eating good 🍽 10 straight days of inflows. $342M in - even Wall Street can’t resist the Solana memes now. They call it “high beta,” we call it “SOL up only (until it’s not)”. 🚀

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BTC + US shutdown = instant rally 🇺🇸💥 Government reopens → Bitcoin hits $106K Apparently, markets love functioning governments (who knew?). Altcoins up too, vibes restored 🕺📈 ..but then its price quickly returned to $104K..📉 Those who made it, made it.😁

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Bitcoin’s the DJ, alts just vibe 🎧 Wintermute says alts only start partying when BTC’s within 10% of its ATH. Right now it’s still ~16% below, so the dance floor’s half-empty. 🕺 BTC outperforms alts 54% of the time in these conditions - 58% if it dips to $100K. Every “altseason” tweet ages like milk until Bitcoin says go. 😂

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Polymarket’s “wisdom of the crowd” turns out to be bots talking to themselves 🤖📈 Columbia University researchers found massive wash trading inflating volumes on Polymarket. Basically, traders were buying and selling to… themselves. The platform wasn’t behind it - but crypto’s Wild West design sure helped. Looks like some people really bet on both sides. 💬 Nothing says “decentralized democracy” like 12 wallets arguing with themselves about the next election.

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Jack Dorsey’s Block pulled in $1.97B in Bitcoin revenue last quarter - that’s almost one-third of its total income. But the stock? Down over 10% in a day. Apparently, even making billions off Bitcoin isn’t bullish enough for Wall Street. Maybe Jack should just rename it to “SquareCoin” and call it DeFi 🤷‍♂️

Google adds prediction markets to Finance search 🔮 Soon you’ll ask Google: “Will BTC hit $150K in 2025?” - and get real-time odds from Polymarket & Kalshi right in the results. Both platforms just hit billion-dollar valuations as event trading goes mainstream. ICE and big institutions are betting on the “wisdom of the crowd.” Even Google wants in on crypto degens’ favorite game - guessing the future.